R is for… Random Acts of Kindness – Pay It Forward

Posted on 22nd April 2010 in adultery/ benefits/ child/ counselling/ Cry/ debt/ divorce/ guarantor/ house/ self esteem/ son/ writing workshop

R is for… Random Acts of Kindness – Pay It Forward

I looked at the lovely Josie’s Writing Workshop prompts again this week and thought – nah there is nothing there I can write anything about… Kept looking back and running through the list and kept coming up with the same answer – nope nothing there for me. But it was obviously still in my thoughts, as when I was getting dressed this morning a random act of kindness came to mind.

So. R is for… Random Acts of Kindness – Pay It Forward

If you’ve read A is for… And Then He Left Me you will know that in 2004 I was left in a bit of a bastard situation.

During that time although I experienced some incredibly low points I also experienced some amazing acts of random kindness that served as a lesson to me that I will never forget. That lesson being – pay it forward.

As mentioned in A is for… And Then He Left Me I was bailed out of having to move my children to another town to live in a B&B by a ‘friend’ who stood guarantor for me on a rental agreement. What I didn’t say was that this person, who we shall call W, had only known me for 2 weeks when they did it. I never once asked them to do it, in fact I seem to recall that I refused point blank, but W insisted. The letting agency initially turned them down because they had only known me for 2 weeks but, undeterred, W somehow magically sorted it out and my tenancy was approved.

It isn’t normally in my nature to accept things off people, especially people that I hardly know, however there was no financial risk to W (unless I missed payments which I knew that I wouldn’t) and I really had no other option so I begrudgingly accepted this kind and generous offer.

The generosity didn’t stop there though, after learning that my ex-husband wasn’t contributing financially, W then bought my 2 boys ALL their school uniform for the new September term – including PE kit, pencil cases, lunch boxes, shoes and winter coats! PLUS new Star Wars duvets sets and PJs. (And a mysterious deposit of cash – although W denied any involvement in this….)

This is where it got a bit tricky for me and my morals as suddenly money was actually involved. W had bought things and I had no money with which to pay W back. When I, repeatedly, raised this as an objection W’s one and only answer was always: “Pay it forward – if at some point in the future you are ever in a position to help someone who genuinely needs help, you can pay me back by helping them.”

I know this post probably sounds a little unbelievable, but I assure you it is completely true. There were absolutely no strings. I only ever knew W for a short period of time but they made a huge difference to my self-esteem and my belief in human nature and the kindness of strangers.

W used to say that it was redressing the balance, just ‘righting a wrong’, ie my ex-husband had wronged me and W was putting it right. I thank you W from the bottom of my heart.

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  • Reply Kay 22nd April 2010 at 7:23 pm

    wow! your very lucky and W is a very wonderful person. have you had your chance to ‘pay it forward’ yet??…its a brilliant way to live your life

    • Reply mrsljhall 22nd April 2010 at 9:03 pm

      No, haven’t done my ‘pay it forward’ yet – but I when I can, I know that I will x

  • Reply Susie 22nd April 2010 at 7:25 pm

    wow-there are amazing people in this world.

  • Reply Andrew 23rd April 2010 at 9:49 am

    Good attracts Good – W’s kindness should also be seen as a reflection of yourself. Often good people are fantastic to others but find it incredible when kindness is shown to them – i feel sure in the future you will be able to be a “W” to someone else (and maybe that will be the ‘pay it forward’)

    • Reply mrsljhall 23rd April 2010 at 9:57 am

      Hi Andrew, and thank you – are you a twitterer?

  • Reply JallieDaddy 3rd January 2011 at 4:30 pm

    This W sounds like an amazing person!

  • Reply Moz 15th February 2011 at 5:13 pm

    Blimey. Never knew. Never thought it was anywhere near what you needed, or deserved. Wish more than anything that a lady like you had not been in such a predicament. You are the amazing part of the story. It was an honour.
    W xx

    • Reply CoffeeCurls 15th February 2011 at 8:47 pm

      Hello W!
      You are too modest as ever. You changed my life and gave me a bit of self respect in the process. Couldn’t thank you enough then, can’t thank you enough now. But. A thank you via the medium of my blog is nothing if not heart felt.
      Thanks you xx

  • Reply Julie 15th February 2011 at 10:13 pm

    In a world where we watch TV, read the press and see nothing but dreadful news it is refreshing to see that there is good out there, and the good is given freely, and without obligation.

    • Reply CoffeeCurls 17th February 2011 at 7:45 am

      Hi Julie, you are right, and it took a while to get my head around the fact that there were ‘no strings’ x

  • Reply And it’s goodbye from me – a fond farewell? « CoffeeCurls – A Family and Lifestyle Blog 10th December 2012 at 4:44 pm

    […] a lot of ways, although I never realised it at the time, my blog was all about this one post which began life as a Writing Workshop prompt and ending up changing my […]

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