M is for… My Mistress

Posted on 14th July 2010 in Blog/ friendship/ Twitter/ writing workshop

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3. Who’s your boss? Who (or what!) is in charge of you and your life?

This is EASY.

Much as I try and deny it, Twitter Is My Mistress. For example, today is my day off work. At work I spend the day in front of an iMac and I beaver away at my desk for hours on end. So, today – on my day off – I have mostly sat at home, in front of an iMac and buggered around on twitter for hours on end.

I did just break momentarily to do the washing up. That would be the washing up that I would have done last night, had I not been on twitter. I did have to go for a blood test this morning which took approximately 1.5hrs (30 mins to walk there, 30 mins to wait, 30 mins to walk back) I spent most of the 1.5hrs wishing I had a phone from which I could tweet….

I blame @MinaCab for this as twas she who introduced me to my mistress. She came to my house, plied me with cake, pulled many things (except the obvious) from her bra and then insisted that I join Twitter. Being a meek, subservient, do-as-I’m-told type of a girl I immediately signed up. And was immediately disappointed. “I don’t get it” I said. @MinaCab then explained the virtues of twitter to me and told me that she went to senior school with Andy Parsons (and did a reasonable Andy Parsons impression it has to be said) yet still the appeal of Twitter eluded me.

Yet it nagged at me. Why didn’t I ‘get it’ I am not especially unintelligent, if other people could ‘get it’ then why couldn’t I?

Every now and then I would throw a tweet into the void. Not a lot happened – to be fair I was only following @MinaCab @PlanetJedward and @StephenFry so it was fairly obvious that my banal tweets weren’t about to set the world on fire.

Then one day I did a #hashtagtweet and got a reply, from a real person, a stranger…. Ooooh this was intriguing. So I looked at the strangers ‘followers’ and added a few of them, and they followed me back. Suddenly my banal tweets started getting responses.

This then trigged a ‘ray of light’ a moment where the earth moved, the stars aligned and the heavens collided (never sure what with) – suddenly I GOT TWITTER. I got it, I understood it, I loved it.

I started following @richardm56 I’m not a daytime TV person so although I knew who he was, I wasn’t a stalker fan, but people said he was Mr Twitter, so I followed. He was funny. He made me laugh, I replied to a couple of his tweets – and he replied! I told him some mad tale about Binky (Richard’s late mail sherpa, long story) asking via the medium of Derek Acorah for him to follow me back – and he did! LOL. Twitter rocks!

I am now ‘friends’ with some amazing people on Twitter. My ‘real life’ friends ‘don’t get it’ and they pull that face at me if I mention it, so I don’t anymore. My husband, tolerant man though he is, is dubious of my twitter relationships.

Without Twitter I would never have spoken to @jakubhlavacek a lovely (but rude) gay guy from the Czech republic. I would never have exchanged, time, cake and publishing with @thecakenest – I would never have started a blog if it were not for the likes of the lovely @porridgebrain @cosmicgirlie @JfB57 @Princess_L_88 @cafebebe @vegemitevix (and too many more to list, sorry). I would never have had extraordinarily bizarre conversations with @PowerFairy my life would not have been enhanced by knowing @DrewParky who to me is a little ray of sunshine. I wouldn’t have seen the smiley face of @Superrealpj I wouldn’t know that sock cats are awesome if it weren’t for @_pussygalore I wouldn’t have received lovely, supportive messages from @busyhobs or have ever known about the Tots100 or @The_MADs if it weren’t for @swhittle. Without twitter I wouldn’t have had a lovely chat with @MyDaddyCooks or have tasted his simnel cakes and brightened Archie’s day with Thomas goodies.

Without Twitter I would never have started coffeegate…

I have lovely conversations with lots of wonderful people, including: @LivingwithKids @kateab @PaulaMaher @MissMarch1130 @1chicmama @hooker1uk @Caroljs @MeTheManAndBaby @Jon_Stead @cassiemwilliams @becaboop @KayAndHerBoys @SheilaW10 @The_Moiderer @Nudieprincess @bumblingtweets @ocean_design @christinemosler @gillyjamjar @utterlyscrummy @lbyrne74 @himupnorth @Debbie_Ireland @Delakobic @PeterWanless @SingleMummyUK @mediocre_mum @thekidscoach @TheJellyMonster @peabee72 @Henrys_Mummy @Metajugglamum @realityrose @Barb1963 @teamvaughan @newdaynewlesson @salamicat @nicolalalalala @ShortyMcStompy @balloonbaboon @blottedcopybook @benspex @mummylimited @chrisandharvey @freyerj @justinheron @tradingnothing @Rosa_lingerie

I’ve dropped phones down toilets with @SweetPeaParties. I love the gentle humour of @PippaD and everytime I read her name the song by BabyD pops into my head! I respect @Andy_Golding, I experienced a military clean up from @RAFairman, laughed at the IT Crowd with @kookoocachu @daddacool and @tattooed_mummy. I’m grateful for techy advice from @spences10. I laugh every time I see the name @AhcomeonnowTed. Quite early on in my twitter life, I was inspired by @Angiebabes999. I got trust from @SingleDadsDiary I got to do a guest blog for @SmittnbyBritain and I read STOP ME by the brilliant @Bookwalter

I LOVE the secret postclub, thank you @notefromlapland

I enjoy the humour of @GPforhire and @5tevenw

I am quite honoured to get the occasional reply from the lovely, talented and fairly easy on the eye ;o) @DhruvBaker1

And although I expect none of you will have noticed, I am reasonably fond of a nice guy called Bob @OnlyDads

My thoughts have #hashtags in them, as do things I put in texts and on facebook.

If I haven’t named you, please please don’t be offended. I follow 693 people – and I follow you all for a reason – it just simply wasn’t possible to list all 693 of you here (I did try, but I am very lazy) so if I follow you, I twitter-love you ok? Actually – if I’ve inadvertently missed you off, tweet me and let me know and I will add you :o)

So in answer to prompt 3 of @porridgebrain’s writing workshop: 3. Who’s your boss? Who (or what!) is in charge of you and your life? My one and only answer is TWITTER!

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  • Reply Susie 14th July 2010 at 3:51 pm

    LOL. Now you need to go back and add links for each and every twitter address .

    Think me might be having the same boss-though I think mine is called mac.

    • Reply mrsljhall 14th July 2010 at 3:55 pm

      argh, I know I should, but did I mention how lazy I am?!

  • Reply itsasmallworldafterallfamily 14th July 2010 at 3:55 pm

    I LOVE THIS! And I’m honoured to be included. Twitter is also my master. Love Twitter. Life would be exceedingly dull without it.

    • Reply mrsljhall 14th July 2010 at 4:15 pm

      no need to be honoured special sheep are ALWAYS included

  • Reply Mummylimited 14th July 2010 at 3:57 pm

    I also didn’t ‘get’ it at first and now I love it. Came to it via blogging sothe other way around. I love that you can log on anytime and chat about so many different things and unlike facebook it’s not clogged up with farms and the like.

    I love this post. It’s like a really detailed #ff. I will be using it to broaden my Twitter horizons.

    • Reply mrsljhall 14th July 2010 at 3:59 pm

      oooh that’s a good plan, will call it my #FF on friday!

    • Reply mrsljhall 14th July 2010 at 4:10 pm

      don’t think you were on there were you….. ahem, you are now! xx

  • Reply TheMadHouse 14th July 2010 at 4:02 pm

    What a great post, although I am working hard not to let my blog or twitter take over my life

  • Reply Paula 14th July 2010 at 4:09 pm

    phew… thank god! there was i thinking i was the only one. so being addicted to twitter is normal, right?? RIGHT????
    nice post. x

    • Reply mrsljhall 14th July 2010 at 4:10 pm

      Normal. No. Sorry, if you hadn’t already noticed I am mad as a stick ;o)

  • Reply Vegemitevix 14th July 2010 at 5:38 pm

    ooooh but did you see being addicted to Twitter is OFFICIALLY good for you! Yeah baby! Look here http://www.vegemitevix.com/2010/07/twitters-social-losers/

  • Reply sheila2010 14th July 2010 at 7:05 pm

    I know exactly what you mean and could not agree with you more. I am additicted to Twitter. It does rule me at times. Just cant resist that “one more look”

    I am not working a the moment – not through choice I might add and I reallymiss the company and friendship that work brings. But having discovered Twitter it has opened up a whole new window for me.

    And I just love reading everyone blogs – yours included.

    • Reply mrsljhall 14th July 2010 at 7:16 pm

      Thank you Sheila :o) think my biggest problem is that I’m trying to fit my ‘twitter habit’ around my paid work and my volunteer work! x

  • Reply rugbymadsdad 14th July 2010 at 7:51 pm

    This was very funny and just what i needed to read this afternoon at hospital…..thank you for the mention and it took me 6 months to get the hang of Twitter and now i cant do without it….They all laugh at me at work….but its there loss not mine…I have some great friends now on Twitter….Thank you

    • Reply mrsljhall 14th July 2010 at 7:53 pm

      my pleasure, hope you are ok x

  • Reply Kate 14th July 2010 at 7:51 pm

    Ooh, I got a mention. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

  • Reply Rosa_lingerie 14th July 2010 at 8:14 pm

    Brilliant post. I am the original technophobe and cannot believe I am becoming slowly addicted to Twitter! Oh and your blogs, x

    • Reply mrsljhall 14th July 2010 at 8:26 pm

      balls you weren’t on the list were you……. *kicks self* that is the danger of a post like this one….. am adding you now, will be like you were there all along! x

  • Reply Powerfairy 14th July 2010 at 8:27 pm

    . . . . “extraordinarily bizarre conversations” – oh no, the fairy to human translation device isnt mulfunctioning again is it? Thank you for pointing it out. I’ll get Brian on to it immediately. Of course though, its probably my Loft Monster Charm. He disapproves of twitter. He’s even gone as far as thinking he should eat my dongle & it’s just below “crumbs in the butter” on reasons he might have to leave me. (which is at number 2 on the list) xxxx

    • Reply mrsljhall 14th July 2010 at 8:36 pm

      keep waiting for my OH to say “it’s twitter or me” so far he has been wise and resisted! xxx

  • Reply @5tevenw 14th July 2010 at 8:31 pm

    You are sweet :)

  • Reply 5tevenw 14th July 2010 at 8:45 pm

    Thank you very much for the mention, as I just recently tweeted – “A true friend is someone who says nice things behind your back.” – You are sweet :)

  • Reply @MinaCab 14th July 2010 at 8:59 pm

    I may have been here first but you and your #ff’s have made it a much better place to be!! For that I thank you. And for clarifying that I didn’t pull the obvious out of my bra :0)

    • Reply mrsljhall 14th July 2010 at 9:07 pm

      I felt it may need pointing out so that people didn’t get the wrong idea about the post…. ;o)

  • Reply Metajugglamum 14th July 2010 at 9:29 pm

    Yep, I’m hearin ya Lady. Have a trip planned for next week to the UK … to be completely dominated by first-time visits to Tweeps I’ve met up here. (I know, I know, but you live the wrong side :-( )
    But despite the fact that my folks just ‘can’t get it’ at all, in the slightest, Twitter has actually opened up opportunities for me that I would never have taken … or even imagined I could take. Oh and it got me writing at last too. Eternally grateful to it for that.
    Thanks so much for the mention. I’m honoured indeed! x

    • Reply mrsljhall 14th July 2010 at 9:41 pm

      Maybe next time! Know what you mean about opportunities – I feel like there are doors everywhere that I never even knew existed before. Happy days xx

  • Reply The Filing Cabinet « MrsLJHall 15th July 2010 at 7:32 am

    […] self esteem ← My Mistress […]

  • Reply smukphotography 15th July 2010 at 8:15 am

    Hilarious very funny, I think twitter owns a lot of us!

  • Reply Antonella 15th July 2010 at 2:32 pm

    I feel so stupid. I don’t know where to start with twitter…I think I’ve still got an account but the only time I’ve tried I was starring at the blank page not knowing what to do. Now as you are so enthusiastic about it I might give it a try again…Ciao. A.

  • Reply jfb57 15th July 2010 at 4:49 pm

    No apology needed for missing off the list ! 😉
    I only started my blog through twitter so know where you’re coming from!

    • Reply mrsljhall 15th July 2010 at 6:29 pm

      That’s because you are already ON the list ;o)

  • Reply Josie 15th July 2010 at 8:14 pm

    You are genuinely one of my favourite people on Twitter, and I’m not just saying that. It’s a real privilege to have ‘met’ you and have you as a friend.

    Thank you Twitter :) x

    • Reply mrsljhall 15th July 2010 at 8:45 pm

      Aw thank you Josie what a lovely thing to say – funnily enough I was busy singing YOUR praises earlier today too! xx

  • Reply Bob Greig 15th July 2010 at 10:41 pm

    I think it safe to say, twitter would not be the same without you on it!

    You brighten dull days, amuse us all, you are friendly and kind and if I had a wife she would be your best friend. I’m sure of that. I think.

    This is my very first (and perhaps only) comment on a blog, because I never know what to say….

    …but this is so obvious – so have a BIG thank you from OnlyDads for all your tweets

    Bob XXX

  • Reply Ann.... 15th July 2010 at 10:45 pm

    Read your blog – as you suggested…. Hope I’m not one of the “real life friends who pulls a face” hmmm maybe…. (makes mental note not to pull face of any sort….) do I need to look further into this twitter idea… would I end up divorced if I got hooked though???
    Enjoy what you can in life – that’s all I can say! A x

    • Reply mrsljhall 15th July 2010 at 10:50 pm

      LOL well hello Annie! You pull many a northern face but no, you weren’t one that I was referring to – and yes, I think it would lead to divorce….hmmmmm xx

  • Reply jfb57 16th July 2010 at 8:11 am

    I see, I see, I see! Thank you!!

  • Reply Chic Mama 16th July 2010 at 4:28 pm

    Awww, thanks for including me…feel very honoured. Without twitter I wouldn’t have started blogging….twitter was my lifeline last year, I owe it a lot. ;0) xx

  • Reply Him Up North 21st August 2010 at 10:52 pm

    Well whaddya know. I completely missed this first time round. What a lovely idea. Thank you for the name check. :-)

    • Reply mrsljhall 21st August 2010 at 10:59 pm

      See how I’m always thinking of you ;o)

  • Reply coffee gift sets 24th August 2010 at 3:41 am

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  • Reply tava tea 25th August 2010 at 1:12 pm

    Please tell me it worked right? I dont want to sumit it again if i do not have to! Either the blog glitced out or i am an idiot. the second option doesnt surprise me lol. thanks for a great blog!

  • Reply barbecue 10th September 2010 at 3:56 pm

    Aw, this was a really quality post. In theory I’ d like to write like this too – taking time and real effort to make a good article… but what can I say… I procrastinate alot and never seem to get something done.

  • Reply Credit Card Comparison 14th September 2010 at 11:39 am

    I’ m currently blogging for a (poor) living for someone else… but I like it. You’ ve inspired me to keep doing it, and look to doing it for myself soon

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