I’m putting together an entry for ‘Summer Shorts’ which has a domestic violence theme (I’ll share that too once finished), as such I have found myself researching a few things and came across an article regarding a change in the law which means any psychological abuse is also now illegal – a new crime of coercive control, introduced in December 2015, widened the net to cover a host of other types of domestic abuse.
Did you know your partner can no longer legally do the following things:
1. Share sexually explicit images of you.
2. Restrict your access to money.
3. Continually put you down.
4. Stop you seeing friends and family.
5. Scare you.
6. Threaten to reveal private things about you.
7. Use tracking software on your phone.
8. Be extremely jealous.
9. Make you obey their rules.
10. Control what your wear.
11. Force you to do things you don’t want to do.
More details are included in the following article https://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/domestic-abuse-partner-cant-do-14543776
If you have any worries about your relationship, please seek advice https://www.refuge.org.uk/
I was there to give feedback on the first draft of his new novel ‘Psychosis’ and it was a fabulous experience.
It was also a pretty nerve-wracking, daunting experience too as I have never met Tony before so I had no idea what sort of person he was, or even if this whole thing was a scam and I would end up chopped into a thousand tiny pieces and never seen again…
My fears were, fortunately, unfounded. I was welcomed into Tony’s home and made to feel incredibly welcome. There were 3 of us ‘newbies’, 2 in person and 1 by skype plus 4 more seasoned members of the feedback group.
It was a fascinating experience and I feel incredibly fortunate to have taken part. The other people in the group were all lovely and time flew by as we all offered our thoughts (while being plied with coffee and pastries). Tony ran the process like a well oiled machine and took compliments and criticisms all with the same gentle humour and easy manner. This made it very easy to be completely honest and I think it was brave of him to open himself up to opinions in this way.
The book itself (another thing I was dreading – what if it was awful?!) was really good. I obviously can’t give any spoilers (and will review it on my book review site in due course) but it is a really strong storyline and Tony’s characterisation and descriptive writing are simply superb.
I hope to see these lovely people again and I have already downloaded some of Tony’s other books to read!
Just been thinking, if I could only pick one thing to pass on to my boys – what would it be?
Just one thing. One piece of information, one trait, or one word of advice.
It would be:
Don’t require validation.
Sure, I hope they’ll be happy, healthy, wealthy and loved.
I hope they’ll be clever, get good jobs and be a success.
I hope they’ll find true love and be surrounded by friends and laughter.
I hope they’ll be good people who make me proud.
I think if they can learn to love who they are, irrespective of the approval of others, then the rest will fall into place.
I want them to like what they like, because they like it, not because it’s cool.
I want them to act how they like, to be carefree and go with their instincts.
I want them to love freely. And if that person doesn’t love them back, I want them to be able to let go and know that they are worth loving and not to waste their tears on someone who can’t see that.
My boys are amazing. They make me so proud, every day.
I want them to know that, but not need to know that. To be happy in their own skin and love themselves for everything they are and everything that they will be.