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Happy Birthday DS1

Posted on 21st December 2010 in birth/ birthday/ child/ diabetes/ fainting/ family/ gestational diabetes/ pregnancy/ SCBU/ shadow of the moon

Happy Birthday DS1

My boy is 11 – 22nd Dec, officially at 10.12pm – but he assures me it’s ok to have presents in the  morning!

My boy is wonderful, I know we all love our children but he really is! He has a depth of maturity that still shocks me, yet he has a playful sense of humour and is a happy, sunny boy.

He is clever (cleverer than me most of the time), he questions things that I just take for granted and seems to have an unquenchable thirst for knowledge. Yet he isn’t superior or smug, he is gentle and self effacing. It was he who prompted my post about the shadow on the moon – a question he asked at age 5.

He likes reading, drawing, building amazing things from LEGO, making paper aeroplanes (often balancing them on one side to ensure they fly how he wants), playing DS/PS3/Wii games, watching The Simpsons, comedy in general and CHOCOLATE!

He is also a complete pedant, which I just adore.

I did good with that boy :) *beams with pride*

 

His life didn’t start smoothly, the birth ‘went wrong’, after finding out late that I had Gestational Diabetes they decided to induce me on my due date. I clearly wasn’t ready to give birth and despite them trying 3 times to induce me Monday, 3 more times Tuesday and a membrane sweep first thing Wednesday, there was still no action! I was 3 cm dilated by Monday night and pretty much stayed there.

Wednesday ended for me as he was placed in my arms and the last thing I remember is someone shouting “She’s 80 over 50″

I didn’t see my son again until the Friday afternoon, Christmas Eve.

I’d lost so much blood that I couldn’t sit up without passing out. For my own reasons I refused a blood transfusion. Because of the diabetes DS1 had been taken straight down to SCBU, then because I was ill they kept him down there.

I did try and get down there once (2 floors away, might as well have been on Mars) but I passed out.

I can remember laying on the ward, the only ‘mother’ there who didn’t have a baby. I felt so confused. So alone. It was like I was being punished. Until on the Friday afternoon a nurse breezed in and said jokingly “oh haven’t you got a baby?” and I said “I don’t know.”

She was horrified that I hadn’t been taken to see him, she was horrified that no one had given me a photo of him.

When my husband (who had been down to see the baby every day) showed up, she was with him, with a photo and a wheel chair and I finally got taken to see him. Sitting upright that long was a struggle, but it was worth it.

He looked a bit of a fraud in SCBU though – at 8lb13 he looked big enough to eat the other babies!

I was terrified that the separation would affect how I felt about him. Or how he felt about me. But it didn’t. I love him so much, I’m so proud of who he is and I’m so proud of who he’ll become.

H is for… Hormonal Madness

Posted on 1st December 2010 in birth/ c-section/ hormonal

This is inspired by @cosmicgirlie’s post the other day querying whether coming off of Cerazette saved her life, in which she mentions the hormonal roller coaster that she experienced while taking it. And upon which my comment about contraception made her say:

jaycosmicgirlie

Er… @MrsLJHall your comment has me clutching my face in an open mouthed terrified scream. Much like “Scream”

I won’t repeat my somewhat insane comment on my own blog, that would be folly…

Instead I’ll tell you an even more unbelievable tale which demonstrates for me the height of ‘hormonal madness’, by which I mean those actions that when looked at in an unhormonal state look utterly insane.

The birth of my first son was, to say the least, traumatic. Without wishing to force TMI upon you, nothing went as it should. I went in at 7am on a Monday and he was finally born very late on the Wednesday. There was a lot of blood loss and I lost consciousness. That is the abridged version.

So. When I was pregnant with my second son, I sought early assurances from the consultants, doctors, midwives and cleaning staff that I would be able to have a c-section and not have to go through the birth process again – especially as the zillions of midwives first time around had told me it seemed that my body ‘just couldn’t do labour’.

In the early stages most people vaguely murmured that it would be ok, however as the due date grew closer my consultant grew ever less assuring of this fact. I got in a bit of a state about it as I just couldn’t face going through it again. I know that some woman get a little irrational while pregnant and I guess I may be holding my hands up to that one. At about 7 months gone I plucked up the courage to ask ‘will I definitely have a c-section?’ – he barely looked at me and said ‘we’ll see, but I don’t see why you shouldn’t try first’.

I cried and cried. I was terrified. At about 8 months gone I had another check up with ‘the man’. He was known to be not overly comforting and wasn’t the easiest man to talk to – a bedside manner had never been introduced to him.

Before I let him examine me, I asked him again about the c-section. He gave me the same answer and picked up his stethoscope. I didn’t move to let him examine me, instead I looked him (tearfully) straight in the eye and said “I don’t think you understand, either you book me in for a c-section or I am leaving here now and walking under a bus.”

He reached into his drawer, took out the book, and said “Is Tuesday the 10th ok?”

So, make me feel less nuts, have you done anything mental under the influence of hormones?

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