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Mental Health: Don’t bother telling me your door is always open

Posted on 6th May 2017 in #guestpost/ charity/ depression/ Mental Health

A lovely lady I know online recently posted the words below on Facebook and has kindly given me permission to share them.

She makes such a valid point, so incredibly well, I’ve always found the ‘type the colour of your underwear on your status for breast cancer awareness/share this heart for breast cancer’ posts quite infuriating. Surely sharing signs to look out for or advice for supporting a friend/loved one would be much more use.

The same applies to the recent flurry of posts stating that your door is always open and people can just pick up the phone – anyone who has ever suffered would know that is the very last thing you would be able/willing to do.

Anyway, Abi puts it beautifully:

“Do you know the problem with all this talk about mental health? I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want a hug. I don’t want cup of tea and someone to tell me it will all get better. What I want is to hide under the duvet and cry until I have no more tears. If you think the answer is to post that you are always listening it won’t help. I know you mean well but I’d never send you a Facebook message to say I’m losing my grip and I’m good at faking it.

To the person who stepped in front of a train, took an overdose, slit their wrists, hung themselves, all I want to say is I understand and I’m sorry we lost you. Sometimes what people need most is space and understanding, a cave we can run away to occasionally and not be questioned.

So yes let’s talk about mental health but don’t ever expect someone suffering from severe depression to come to you when they need you. I don’t have the answer, the only suggestion I have is that we stop communicating through technology and start using our eyes. When that friend makes excuses and can’t come out, ask them if they would like you to come over. When someone you love shouts and pushes you away, give them space, but do ask what’s wrong and if you can help. When you pass a stranger on the street, smile and say hello, you may be the only person they speak to all day and it may break their thoughts and help them smile.

Sometimes it’s the silence that gives us away. I won’t ever tell you what goes through my mind but you can help distract me and that goes a long way. I’m just trying to stay in control so don’t push me. Just reach out and touch someone the edge is closer than you think.

Speaking as someone who has lost 2 dads to suicide and having attempted myself I can tell you that it’s release that we need. To stop the nightmares, the paranoia and the overwhelming fear of failure. It really doesn’t matter how real those things are. They are in our mind. So don’t tell me it will get better or that I’m loved, I know that but when?

Do you know my biggest fear? That my girls think it’s an acceptable choice. That one day they may contemplate the same. I really don’t think I could survive that so I will always watch and love them.

PS if you post that you are stuck in traffic or the train is delayed because some “idiot” has decided to end their life, I will unfriend you. They didn’t get there lightly and they won’t bother you again. You will get home and your life will go on so shut the f*ck up. They will be gone forever and the only thing that will follow is devastation but don’t worry that won’t affect you just their family and friends.

Thank you all for all of your support.”

 

One last thing from me. Did you know you can email the Samaritans? It IS hard to pick up the phone sometimes, but even the act of writing your fears, worries, feelings, in an email can help to lift the burden. The Samaritans will email you back, doesn’t matter if your worry is trivial – if it is important to you, it is important to them.

Contact Samaritans

Support Your Local Charity Shops

Posted on 15th September 2015 in #charitytuesday/ charity/ Charity Greetings

The Street StoreCharity Shop Chic seems to the new big thing and your high street almost certainly contains a hidden gem of a charity store. I live in quite a small town, ‘market village’ I believe it likes to call itself, yet it boasts at least 5 charity shops.

I’ve yet to become a skilled charity shopper but it’s something that I would like to improve upon as I often read with jealousy about other more prudent shoppers who seem to effortlessly find beautiful and inexpensive clothing, jewellery and antiques all the time.

A project I’d like to see spread to the UK is pop-up charity shop The Street Store, click here for more details of this excellent scheme.

One thing I do regularly buy from charity shops is greetings cards, my nearest shop does a beautiful and quirky range of cards that I’ve not seen anywhere else and they are only 79p per card! Great quality too, I make a point of stocking up whenever I’m passing. It’s a step in the right direction I guess!

What do you like to buy from charity shops – share your best find with me?

 

Supporting Sisters #TheHomelessPeriod #CharityTuesday

Posted on 19th May 2015 in #charitytuesday/ charity/ colchester/ homelessness

Supporting SistersPhoto courtesy of Supporting Sisters

Every so often I hear of something so screamingly obvious that I can’t believe a) I’ve never thought about it before and b) that it didn’t already exist. Today I have heard of just such a thing.

Supporting Sisters is a new charity that collects and distributes sanitary products and underwear to homeless women via the Colchester Night Shelter. Supporting Sisters believe that all women deserve to be comfortable when their time of the month comes, whoever and wherever they are. Supporting Sisters Logo

They accept donations of brand new underwear and sanitary products. They are able to accept individual products as long as they are individually wrapped. For further details of how to donate please keep an eye on their facebook page where they will also advertise events in order to raise money and awareness.

Seeing this made me wonder how many other towns are running similar schemes, if you know of any local to you please add the details in comments.

Here is a recent Telegraph article about #TheHomelessPeriod.

What Does Your Mum Mean To You? #BigBlueCuddle #MothersDay

Posted on 17th March 2012 in big blue cuddle/ charity/ Mother/ mother's day

This is a re-posting of a blog by @BigBlueCuddle they aim to build a collection of quotes from people: ‘What does your mum mean to you?’ some are sweet, some are funny, some are poignant. Read on and send them yours!

As most of us are about to indulge in breakfasts in bed, bouquets of flowers and hand-made cards, we would like to celebrate not just you, loving mothers of young little things, but also your mothers, with a collection of quotes.Tell us: what your mother means to you now you’re raising your own children?

We’ll collect the quotes and post them, anonymously, on our Facebook page and on Pinterest.  The author of the quote which has received the most likes by Tuesday March 20th WINS a product of their choice from our store.
All tricks you, and your mum, might want to pull to get people to like your quote are allowed!  We’ll assign them a number, so you can direct people towards it.

Furthermore we’ll give everybody who has entered, and their mother, a discount code to use in our store.

Go on, what you are waiting for? Email your quote to info@bigbluecuddle.com making sure you also give us your mum’s email address – so we can send her the discount code too.  If you like you can also post them directly on our Facebook wall (we’ll repost them).

We’re really looking forward to reading all the wonderful things you have to say about your mothers and to assemble what hopefully will be a multifaceted take on motherhood.

The image we used is a fridge magnet we found here. Originally posted here: Quotes for YOUR mothers

C is for… Cat Chat

Posted on 6th July 2010 in cats/ charity/ Feral/ kittens/ rehoming centre/ volunteer

I have just added the autumn 10 newsletter for Cat Chat (@CatChatCharity) below and sadly have to say that this is the last one I can do for them due to my current workload.

If you visit the Cat Chat website you can find local rehoming centres near you and view pictures of cats and kittens who need homes. You can find out lots of useful information about cats and pet care, you can seek expert advice and even chat with other pet owners on the Cat Chat forum.

You can also buy gifts for the cat lover in your life!

There are many ways in which you can support the charity and help cats – visit the website now to find out more!

VIEW THE NEWSLETTERS:

Autumn 10 newsletter:

http://www.catchat.org/newsletters/2010_autumn.pdf

Summer 10 newsletter:

http://www.catchat.org/newsletters/2010_summer.pdf

Spring 10 newsletter:

www.catchat.org/newsletters/2010_spring.pdf

Winter 09/10 newsletter:

http://www.catchat.org/newsletters/2009_winter.pdf

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