Hero Wanted – Apply Within

Posted on 25th February 2011 in children/ clown/ dating/ wish list

As I have now been single for 3 whole weeks, the evil twins (they aren’t twins) have decided that I should find a new man as soon as possible.

I asked them why so soon and they said:

C&T: “Not being funny but you don’t want to end up like nanny.”

Me: “Oh I don’t think nanny is lonely”

C&T: “Er, trust us, that’s not what we meant.”

So, moving swiftly on, I asked them what sort of man they thought I should go for. They quite surprised me with the following list:

1. Not shouty.

2. Kind.

3. Likes playing games.

4. Be handsome.

5. Be fun. Sometimes silly but can be sensible too.

6. Maisy must like him.

7. Have a cool job. Examples given were: footballer; wrestler; NOT a clown*

8. Not smoke.

9. Not swear.

10. Not be bald.

11. Be taller than me.

12. Be kind.

13. Be loose not tight.

14. Not be allergic to cats.

15. Not be a clown*

16. Be good at drawing.

17. Be a billionaire.

18. Be cleverer than me – they added that wouldn’t be hard.

19. Be a maker.

20. Want to help them with stuff.

21. Live locally.

22. Make me happy.

DS2 then asked where I would find this man.

The night I told them that DH and I were separating DS2 said “Back on the old dating site then girl.” I laughed and said that I wouldn’t be going on a dating site, so DS2 said “just gonna hang out in some pubs then yeh?”

As we walked back to the car, for every man that we past, DS2 nudged me and said “Huh, how about him?” I said that I couldn’t just go up to a stranger and say hello, but he had a solution for that too. He said “You don’t say hello, you say: hey, got the rest of your life free to spend with me?”

Want to apply? Just fill in the ‘boyfriend application form‘ as found by the lovely @KayAndHerBoys 😉

*I think it’s worth pointing out that we had this conversation in a restaurant called Clowns, in which the walls are plastered with photos of clowns and circus memorabilia!

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12 Comments

  • Reply Ruth 25th February 2011 at 6:21 pm

    I think that is an excellent list. Clowns are freaking scary after all!
    Maybe, when you are ready, you should delegate the task to the evil-non-twins.

    • Reply CoffeeCurls 25th February 2011 at 6:24 pm

      I have a feeling they’d bring home Homer Simpson!

  • Reply Him Up North 25th February 2011 at 7:28 pm

    What does “be a maker”? That’s a tough checklist for any man to tick, particularly the billionaire bit. I think if you find someone who can fulfil number 22 then you’ve pretty much got the others covered.

    • Reply CoffeeCurls 26th February 2011 at 5:53 pm

      Be able to make things/take things apart/repair things etc. I think. I’m sure there is a man out there who can tick all the boxes – although I think you’re right and it might pay to start at 22 and work up x

  • Reply Rosanne 25th February 2011 at 7:51 pm

    Thats a brilliant list, you cannot fail, with the help of those adorable boys, to find the perfect man, not sure those two words work in the same sentence but you know what I mean!

    • Reply CoffeeCurls 26th February 2011 at 5:53 pm

      lol, yes I know what you mean! thank you x

  • Reply theboyandme 25th February 2011 at 9:28 pm

    What gorgeous boys you have and they are going to help you find the man of your dreams! I do think that a couple of the early ones are rather telling though aren’t they?

    • Reply CoffeeCurls 26th February 2011 at 5:52 pm

      yep, sadly that did occur to me too. still, onwards and upwards! x

  • Reply WorldWithoutEnd 26th February 2011 at 5:29 pm

    That made me cry. I am going to get my kids to do the same for me as soon as they’ve accepted that mummy and daddy aren’t getting back together.

    • Reply CoffeeCurls 26th February 2011 at 5:55 pm

      No don’t cry, it’s all good! My 2 have been through a fair amount of change so are pretty adaptable to new situations, which I hope is a good thing?! Maybe them doing the list will help with the realisation? xx

  • Reply Beki Davies 27th February 2011 at 10:18 pm

    My son is adamant I need to get a boyfriend so he can do all the jobs that I make my son currently do – e.g. put his bowl in the dishwasher / tidy his room! Im not so sure!

  • Reply kate takes 5 17th March 2011 at 7:31 am

    This is great. I would like to steal that list. Just have to get rid of the existing husband first…!

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