The Twitter Monologues

Posted on 2nd May 2011 in Uncategorized

Sends tweet.

Checks @ mentions.

Remembers has a shed load of editing to do today.

Sends tweet: ‘need to go now as have work to do’.

Checks @ mentions.

Replies to @ mentions.

Sends tweet.

Remembers again about having work to do.

Stands up.

Makes cup of tea.

Condsiders making toast.


Picks up 4 rich tea biscuits instead.

Picks up tea, biscuits and phone in left hand, laptop in right hand and heads towards lounge.

Knocks elbow against door spilling very hot tea over hand and floor.


Glances at iMac and considers tweeting that has spilt tea by being too lazy to make two trips.


Cleans up spilt tea.

Sits on sofa, arranges tea, phone and rich tea biscuits. Switches on laptap.

Laptop is out of battery.

Fetches charger, leans over back of sofa to plug it in.

Spies a lone mini egg behind sofa.

Considers eating mini egg.

Remembers strange noise coming from under sofa the other night and considers possibility of mini egg being covered in frog, mouse or alien wee.

Considers tweeting the discovery of the mini egg.


Puts mini egg in bin.

Sits back down.

Switches on laptop.

Opens internet explorer.

Signs into twitter.

Remembers that moved from iMac to laptop in order to get some work done.

Closes internet explorer.

Realises that now thinks in tweet style format and has idea for this post.

Writes post.

Wonders if will ever be capable of normal thought again?!

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  • Reply Paula 2nd May 2011 at 5:04 pm

    I do that all the time. I even did an implied hash tag the other day talking to someone using a two finger curl thing. Is there any hope for us all? x

  • Reply TheBoyandMe 2nd May 2011 at 8:20 pm

    Very funny, good one! Although I think I’d have tweeted about the mini-egg, the tea and the fact that you’re on the laptop so you don’t tweet.

  • Reply Reluctant Housedad 3rd May 2011 at 7:22 am

    Yep, that’s pretty much it in a mini-eggshell.

  • Reply helloitsgemma 4th May 2011 at 6:40 pm

    ha! me too!

    • Reply David 18th May 2011 at 5:25 pm

      Internet Explorer?! Safari, surely…

  • Reply Helen R 16th July 2011 at 6:34 pm

    Oh this is so familiar! Recognising what we’re doing surely makes it okay?!

    • Reply CoffeeCurls 16th July 2011 at 7:31 pm

      Yes, yes, it is definitely ok…. After all, 2 million people can’t be wrong 😉

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